I hate humble pie this past week but it was so good for me!
This past week was definitely a lesson for my journal, blog and future generations.
My wife and I had a pretty strong discussion this week about ‘finances’ and for whatever reason we began raising our voices. I know that isn’t what I want in my marriage. I know contention does not add love and harmony to a home and a family.
My wife was pretty blunt and brutally honest with me about certain things and of course it hurt. Instead of being mad, prideful and grudgeful (which the natural man inside of me wanted to do) I prayed and knew that I needed to listen, analyze and find the truth in her comments.
The next morning after our converstaion I went to my wife and apologized and thanked her for what she said. I told her “What you said last night needed to be said.”
How many times do we get mad and upset and even defensive when someone comes at us and even attacks us? How many of us get so defensive that we turn our brains off and rationalize and reframe in our minds when someone speaks hard truths to us? We make excuses and rationalize against what they have told us. Instead of growing, we digress. Instead of making a course correction, we dig ourselves deeper into a rut that can be very unhealthy and dangerous not just for us but those around us.
Instead of finding fault with my wife I decided to swallow my pride, get rid of the hurt and learn. It wasn’t easy because I began to be mad. I began to rationalize and make excuses. Ironically the depth, sweetness and harmony of my marriage is up to three people. Me, my wife and the Lord. I only have control of me so it’s really up to me to handle what I do and how I choose to react and learn in all situations. After all, when I hear people complain about their spouse or marriage or family, I just tell them “Who is it up to?” Inevitable it’s always up to the individual to make IT happen.
It’s actually funny because we pray for help, we want to be better, we set goals to be better but when someone comes at us with something that would actually help us we shut them out. Being hurt is a choice. Being offended is a choice as well. “Foolish is the man who takes offense when offense is intended. More foolish is the man who takes offense when none is intended.”
I chose to learn and grow instead of be prideful, hurtful and angry (which I have done too many times in the past.)
Eating humble pie can either be delicious or it can plain suck. The greatest thing about eating humble pie is that we get to choose the flavor and use, whether it can be utilized for learning and growth or added to our already unhealthy list of unnecessary and unwanted trait calories.
I have been much happier and more focused because of what my wife shared with me that one day. Oh yes it hurt and I could have been a punk about it, but work, life, family and everything is better because I allowed someone to help me see blind spots in my life that I couldn’t see myself.
Will you do yourself a favor? Stop being angry and hurt when someone talks about you or talks directly to you about something that you would normally take offense to. Instead, choose to be a Creator and learn from it. Choose to find the truth in it if there be any and make the course correction in your life. And then express gratitude to them (if possible) and to the Lord.
No matter how old or so called ‘mature’ I get, I must be like a child; humble, teachable and submissive. One of my mentors told me not to be fooled by adults just because they are older, or bigger, or supposedly more mature. Many adults today are still very immature and us ‘adults’ can still learn from anything and anyone, especially our children.
Thank you Laina for being brutally honest with me and helping me see things in my life that needed to be changed.
To the Creators, to your success and prosperity.
SG
